There is only a short time left before Christmas and this year’s holiday season is in full swing. Shopping during the holidays can be quite demanding and difficult, and perhaps even emotional, especially when you are coping with infertility. Every time you turn on your TV or go to the mailbox, there are tons of Christmas specials and various advertisements that contain images of happy families – parents surrounded by joyful children anticipating Santa’s arrival…
When you’re out shopping with the holiday crowds, it can feel like every woman that passes you is either pregnant or holding a child’s hand as she makes her way through the crowd. Way before Thanksgiving, the shopping malls and department stores are filled with Christmas scenes for children; there’s a Santa’s Workshop at one end of the mall and a Nutcracker scene with Toy Soldiers at the other end. And always, there is the long line of children and babies waiting to sit with Santa Claus, capturing this year’s perfect holiday photo moment.
When you are coping with infertility, this time of the year simply hurts too much, especially when you see families and kids enjoying all the pre-holiday festivities. Here are some coping strategies that may make holiday shopping less stressful:
Do the Majority of Your Shopping Online
Today, almost everything you need can be purchased online, and sometimes online prices are even better than in-store bargains. Shopping for gifts online is one way to avoid the big shopping centers filled with children. Online shopping also allows you to buy only the items you really need for your friends and family. If you don’t need to buy baby clothes or toys for anyone, there is no need to go through those departments or “surf” to those online storefronts.
Shop With an Understanding Friend
Especially during the holiday season, seeing families having fun shopping together hurts – partly because it makes us feel alone in the world. So instead of shopping alone, have some fun and make a date with a special, understanding friend to go holiday shopping together this year. There is a good chance that you will be so busy catching up and having a good time that you won’t even notice the families shopping around you. Having someone to chat with is certainly better than silently fretting about your particular infertility situation – especially during this holiday season.
Avoid Big Malls
Many large shopping malls are busy with kids excited to see Santa; often, however, you will find fewer kids in downtown shopping areas, especially during the week. You may find shopping in smaller boutiques easier than holiday shopping in big department stores and crowded malls.
Shop During School Hours
If you really need to go to the mall, but you don’t want to run into lots of families, the best time to go is during typical school hours – in the morning or early afternoon. Of course, you will probably still bump into a few pregnant women and mothers with little ones, but hopefully the early-in-the-day shopping experience won’t be such a sad or overwhelming event.
Have Someone Else Make Necessary Child Gift Purchases
If you find that it is just too much to spend the time, energy and thought process to purchase gifts for the children of friends and family, you may want to consider handing the responsibility over to an understanding friend or another family member. You can jot down the important details such as ages, sizes, gender, along with a few hints such as favorite colors, characters and activities; make a note of any special gift requests and then give them the money to go out and make the actual purchases.
When working hard and struggling to get pregnant, making it through the holidays is not easy for many women and couples. It is important to find coping strategies that work for you during this time of year, so you can enjoy the season and find some holiday cheer. Remember that it is definitely OKAY to ask for help from your partner, or from supportive friends and beloved family members.